Do you ponder your own death? Is it something you worry about? Wonder when it will happen? Did your perspective on death change when you became a father? Death is inevitable, and it can be uncomfortable, even stressful to talk about, especially when children are in the picture. For Robert Bailey, this is a familiar conversation. Robert has stage 4 cancer which started in his bladder and has taken over his body in just over two years’ time, leaving him no option but to prepare for the inevitable much sooner than anyone should. Robert joins us to share about his fatherhood joys, his impossibly hard journey, and how he is using his remaining time to build a legacy for his two-year-old son to remember him by.
Do you ponder your own death? Is it something you worry about? Wonder when it will happen? Did your perspective on death change when you became a father? Death is inevitable, and it can be uncomfortable, even stressful to talk about, especially when children are in the picture. For Robert Bailey, this is a familiar conversation. Robert has stage 4 cancer which started in his bladder and has taken over his body in just over two years’ time, leaving him no option but to prepare for the inevitable much sooner than anyone should. Robert joins us to share about his fatherhood joys, his impossibly hard journey, and how he is using his remaining time to build a legacy for his two-year-old son to remember him by.
Episode 33, the final episode of Modern Dadhood to release in 2020, opens with a disclaimer from Adam and Marc: Frequent listeners will know that Modern Dadhood is generally quite light-hearted, and though we don't avoid heavy or sensitive topics, today's theme is uncomfortable. We are examining mortality, particularly as it relates to fatherhood.
Before getting into the discussion, Adam shares a short recording of a recent meet up with past guest (and brand new dad) Chad Richardson. Chad and his wife Katie recently gave birth to their son, and despite the current state of the world, their hospital experience was positive, and their newborn son is healthy and thriving.
Marc poses the question "When was the first time you remember fully understanding what death was?" This prompt leads to a discussion on first experiences with relatives passing away, and transitions to the ways that we ponder and consider our own death, and whether that changed upon becoming a father.
The guys share some context about guest Robert Bailey, who began experiencing symptoms of bladder cancer over two years ago. By the time it was diagnosed, the cancer had spread, and after multiple treatments by different providers, Robert was told that his tumor was inoperable. They welcome Robert into the conversation, and Robert shares his heartbreaking and maddening story of failed diagnoses, constant pain, and coming to terms with the fact that his two-year-old son Parker will have limited (if any) memory of him. Robert has dedicated the remainder of his life to creating a legacy (by way of writing letters, cards, music, and even a book) that will show parker who his dad was, and how much he loved his son. Topics covered in the conversation include:
• The emotional swings of receiving hopeful and dreadful news from providers
• Appreciating what you have and not letting small things bother you
• How easily everything can be taken away from you
• What it means to create a "legacy"
• "Living" versus "just living"
• Emotional vulnerability and men
Adam rounds out the episode on an entertaining note, sharing a "So Thats A Thing Now" regarding his younger daughter and a dirty prank.
[Episode Transcript]
Links:
Robert Bailey GoFundMe
Medium article by Robert 11/2019
Robert Bailey "Legacy" on Spotify
Bladder Cancer Advocacy Network
Red Vault Audio
Caspar Babypants
Spencer Albee
Marc:
Hey. Oh, hey look. Hey, look who it is. It's Adam Flaherty. Adam Jehoshaphat Flaherty.
Adam:
You got it, man.
Marc:
Call back to last episode.
Adam:
What is your name and how many children do you have and what are their genders, if you care to disclose?
Marc:
My name is Marc Checket, and I am a dad to twin boy toddlers. What about you? What are you packing over there?
Adam:
My name is Adam Flaherty, I'm a father of two daughters who are almost seven and almost four.
Marc:
We're switching to almost the next number now? Wow.
Adam:
I haven't decided for sure, but they're getting really close to seven and four. We are the co-hosts of Modern Dadhood, an ongoing conversation about the joys, challenges and general insanity of being a dad in this moment.
Marc:
If you're a regular listener, then you'll know that Modern Dadhood is generally a fairly light-hearted show. We keep it kind of silly, maybe 60, 70% silliness. Even when we're discussing difficult issues around being a parent.
Adam:
I would agree. In this case, I would say there's no beating around the bush. This particular episode is a heavy one. We recently spoke with a fellow dad. His name is Robert Bailey, and we discussed something that most of us don't find pleasant to talk about, and that is facing one's own death.
Marc:
Yeah. It's difficult stuff to talk about so matter-of-factly, like we do in this episode. But while a conversation about acknowledging and accepting your own impending death might feel dark, we want Modern Dadhood to be a place where it's safe to open up about your fears even if that's something that's uncomfortable for you to do or to listen to.
Adam:
I also want to acknowledge that this subject matter is sensitive and is uncomfortable, but also that it's something that's a constant in Robert Bailey's life. He's living this. And so out of respect to Robert, in hopes that the episode can provide a little bit of an escape for him, we're opting to proceed with some positivity and lightheartedness that you would typically expect from Modern Dadhood. So on that note, I do actually have something really positive and exciting that I would like to share with you, Marc.
Marc:
Oh.
Adam:
You remember my brother-in-law Chad.
Marc:
Chad… McBad?
Adam:
I'm not even going to entertain it! Chad Richardson, who was a guest on our show a few months ago, talking about how he was preparing to become a brand new dad for the first time.
Marc:
Gearing up, gearing up for dad hood. How's he doing?
Adam:
He's good. Their son was born just recently. Brand new, absolutely healthy. They're home and they're totally in the thick of it, with a newborn.
Marc:
Amazing.
Adam:
It's awesome. Yeah.
Marc:
That's wonderful news.
Adam:
Yeah. The family's psyched about it. We, last weekend, got to visit with them for a few minutes and see the baby through a glass door. But the reason I'm telling you this aside from just to catch you and the listeners up on it is I brought a recorder with me and I passed the mic through a small crack in the door and asked Chad just a few questions about what it's like being in this totally crazy period. And I wanted to play it back for you.
Marc:
Dude, I'm thoroughly excited to listen to this. This is great.
Adam:
We just came down to see the brand new baby for the first time. I've got my older daughter here with me and we got to visit him through the door. How's Uncle Chad doing?
Chad:
I'm doing pretty well. Definitely sleep deprived. Last time we talked about all this, I was a little cocky when I was like, "Oh, I've done jobs where I've got little sleep and stuff." But the reality of it is it's tough. But we're good. We're really good.
Adam:
Tell us how old he is now.
Chad:
He is, let's see, today's Saturday, so he is nine days old.
Adam:
So you're just over a week into very little sleep. How are you doing with that stuff?
Chad:
Yeah. The first night that we were back home was really tough. Now we've separated the schedule. I sleep in the morning, she sleeps in the evening. I cover the nights, she covers the day and then we share our early evenings.
Adam:
I gotta say, you sound remarkably well composed for being a week into fatherhood on such little sleep.
Chad:
If you asked me at all a couple of days ago, I would have sounded different. If you asked me at a different time in the day today, I would've sounded different as well.
Adam:
How was the hospital experience considering, that it had all happened during the pandemic?
Chad:
That was pretty good. We just stayed in our rooms the whole time. Even small things like going to get water and ice, we had to rely on the nurses and I have gained so much respect and admiration for nurses in the way that they work and operate. One thing that stands out is they took him to the nursery the second night that we had him in the room because we were both just exhausted and they're like, "We can take him. We have to run some tests and then you guys can get some real sleep." So the nurse came and took him and then we realized that we both missed him. We were weeping as we were falling asleep because he was out of the room, but we needed it. We were just so overtired.
Adam:
And did you experience, at any point in that process, a moment of maybe enlightenment or when it just really hit you, that I'm a father now?
Chad:
I think while he was being born, it was like seeing him come out and being able to see clearly through that all, it was a very intense moment that is burned into my memory.
Adam:
Well, we've been enjoying all the photos and FaceTiming and we can't wait to get our hands on him when it's safe to do that. But just so happy to be able to come down here and see him through the glass door today, and we couldn't be happier for you guys. So thanks for the update.
Chad:
You got it. Thank you so much for coming down.
Adam:
All right. Here's a question for you.
Marc:
Okay. I had one for you too, by the way.
Adam:
You have a question for me too? I don't believe it.
Marc:
No. Can you believe that I came prepared with a question for you today?
Adam:
Let me put mine on hold. I'll turn it over to you.
Marc:
Okay. Well, this conversation that we've been having, got me thinking back to my childhood and I wondered if you could remember when was the first time you remember finally understanding what death actually was, like what it meant?
Adam:
Interesting question. I think I have, maybe it's an unusual first experiences with it. My parents were older when they had me, so I have three siblings who are in their mid to late fifties and I'm in my late thirties. And so my parents have always been a little bit older than the parents of my friends. So growing up, that was something that was on my mind, but that means that my siblings are older, aunts and uncles are older, they were great aunts and uncles. And there was this period of time in probably third, fourth grade, somewhere in there where I just had a grandmother on my mother's side, grandfather on my dad's side and then several great aunts and uncles that it seems like they all passed away within a year of each other. And in some cases, within a couple of weeks of each other. And so I have fairly vivid memories of a lot of going to funeral parlors and attending masses and going to wakes. And I think maybe as a result of that, it's always been something in the back of my mind, like I hope that I grow up to be an adult still having parents.
Marc:
Yeah. Oh, wow.
Adam:
I think that my parents probably thought about that too, because my mother has told me more than once that she didn't necessarily expect to be around to see me get married and have my own kids.
Marc:
Really?
Adam:
And so she's so glad that she gets to be a part of my daughter's lives.
Marc:
Yeah.
Adam:
What was your original question again?
Marc:
The original question was when was the first time you really remember understanding what death was?
Adam:
My four year old daughter understands that when somebody is dead, they're not present in your life anymore. You don't see them anymore. So I think that as soon as I was old enough to talk or communicate with people, you have the language to convey that notion, but I probably didn't really it until I started losing family members.
Marc:
Yeah.
Adam:
I think everybody processes the idea of death and the grieving process in different ways. Do you worry about your own mortality?
Marc:
I hadn't for a long time, but I will say that very recently, I have started just thinking about my own mortality a little bit and thinking about "Oh yeah, that's right, I'm going to die too." Not that I ever thought I'm invincible. I never had that cavalier attitude about my own mortality, but I don't think I'd ever given it much thought. And I feel like I'm sort of cresting this hill right now in real time, as I'm talking with you, where I'm realizing, I'm realizing that's a thing. And before kids, that had a different feeling and meaning attached to it than it does with kids in the picture.
Adam:
I know that I found that when my first daughter was born, seven years ago almost, I definitely started thinking about death more regularly. And I'm sure that it was tied to now being responsible for someone else and taking care of someone else and providing for someone else. But I don't know if it was more about the amount of time that I have to spend with her or about her not having a dad after I'm gone. For whatever reason, when I started having kids, things just started to fall into that kind of perspective for me.
Marc:
Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. It didn't happen quite, so for me, that connection, I think took a little bit more time to sink in. But I'm starting to feel that now. And I think the same way, like I think like my kids have a dad. It's a fucking weird thing to think you're the dad now, and it's like, my dad passed away several years ago. I'm already in that position where I no longer have a dad and it's still taking time. It still shocks me sometimes when I think about that my children have a dad and they're going to think about me the same way that I think about my dad or maybe similarly. But I will say this, something that I find comfort in, I really think it's important. I don't really know how to phrase this. Me having memories that I allow myself feel and think about and share with other people is where you go after you die. You live on in the memories of the people that you've had an effect on in your life. That's how I like to think about it. And so when you ask me, what do I think about your own mortality? I think about it in terms like that. I'm going to die someday and that's just a fact of life. But I would like to create some memories in my kids' lives or some memories for my kids that they will hold on to for the rest of their days, just like I'm holding on to a whole bunch of really great memories of my dad for the rest of my time.
Adam:
That's a really nice way to look at it, and I think that that's an interesting segue into our conversation with Robert. We live in an age now where so much more media is being created and collected all the time. If one of us, God forbid, died tomorrow, there's thousands of photos of us on our spouses' devices. We make a podcast and our voices are forever sort of captured in this format, which will be wonderful for our families, generations from now, to have access to. But the reason I think that that is particularly relevant to Robert is because he is working intentionally to create a legacy to build this set of memories for his son as his two year old son grows up. Robert Bailey had a pretty standard life up until a couple of years ago. He and his wife were happily married. They had just adopted their son Parker and after some medical issues and misdiagnoses that Robert shares in our conversation, he's diagnosed with stage four cancer, and his path since then has not been a walk in the park. It's really been kind of a rollercoaster with lots of ups and downs and a lot of discomfort, and obviously in array of emotions. And Robert now knows that his time on earth is limited. And so that's why he's devoting a lot of the time that he has left to creating this legacy. Robert believes that he will pass before Parker turns three years old. So he's doing things that are going to keep his memory alive, and also to spread awareness about bladder cancer and cancer in general. So why don't we listen back to our recent conversation with Robert Bailey. Robert, we want to welcome you to Modern Dadhood. Thank you so much for making the time to join us this afternoon.
Robert:
Absolutely. Thanks for having me.
Adam:
Oh, our pleasure. So I want to ask you, and this is an honest question, how are you doing in this moment?
Robert:
I'm doing pretty shitty. I've got my low red blood count and then I'm dehydrated pretty bad. I went in for a blood transfusion yesterday, so that helped a little, but not a lot.
Adam:
Well, I appreciate the honesty. I think we all tend to go on autopilot when someone asks us how we're doing and gloss it over with a good or a fine. And so the honesty is appreciated.
Robert:
Yeah. I'm not going to lie about it. I'm doing pretty shitty. But I should pick up in a couple of days.
Marc:
You said you had a blood transfusion. Is this something that you've gone through before?
Robert:
I've probably had about 10 or 15. Usually right after my treatments, my blood count drops pretty low. Like this weekend, I didn't get out of bed at all.
Marc:
Do you mind giving us just, however much detail you want to give Robert, really, like a little bit of information about your diagnosis?
Robert:
Yeah, sure. I noticed, about a little over two years ago that I had a little blood in my urine and then I was starting to actually leak a little bit. So I went to a urologist and he said it was basically nothing. He did the PSA test. The PSA test came back normal. So they said, just keep an eye on it. That was when I lived in Charlotte. Then I moved to Nashville about two years ago. I went to another doctor and did the same thing, but said basically I have to cath myself a couple of times a day. I was like, "Well, that doesn't sound right at all." It was getting worse at that point. At that point, I was not holding urine at all at night. Went to go get another opinion, and that doctor said I had a neurogenic bladder and I kept on getting into the hospital because my ureter, which is what connects your kidney to your bladder, they had to keep putting stents in it because it was getting crushed. But they just kept on saying I had a neurogenic bladder. For about a year of going back and forth with this doctor who was supposed to be a good doctor, he was like, "Well, we're just going to have to remove your bladder." At this point, I already lost control of my bowels, and the pain was really intense. I could barely walk. I went to go get another opinion at Cleveland Clinic, which is one of the best urology hospitals in the world. After a couple of visits, they noticed the same thing, but they actually ended up taking a biopsy of my prostate and then they found cancer. So then I found out that basically what was causing all my problems was a grapefruit size tumor in my abdomen. It connects from my pelvis to the base of my penis, to my ureter, to my bladder, to my rectum, and then up to my prostate. So I was pretty pissed because at that point, now it's inoperable. We went to MD Anderson, which is in Houston, which is one of the best cancer hospitals in the country. So they tried all their magic, but they couldn't get it to shrink. I stayed in Houston for about five months. We all lived in an RV, at an RV park, while I was going through treatment, which was hell. And after they could do no more, we came back up here to Nashville to do treatment. About two months ago, we found out that it has now spread to my lungs and my liver. So it's definitely getting worse, but it's never shrunk really. It just kind of stayed the same. At this point, we're waiting for our next scan. And after that next scan, we might decide to just go on to hospice care and just let it take it's pace, because the treatments are killing me.
Adam:
I can imagine. I can imagine Robert.
Robert:
Yeah.
Adam:
So you received some encouraging news to begin with. You thought it might be operable. And then at some point, you were told that that wasn't going to be the case. And then it seems like time and time again, through your journey, the information has been less and less in your favor. How do you even begin to process that? And would it have been better from the beginning if you didn't have that sense of encouragement?
Robert:
I don't know. It's hard to hear. It takes a long time to sink in. Like it just sunk in with my wife, Debbie. She's just now accepting it. It's hard to explain. I think most of it just sucks that I don't get to see what happens with Debbie and Parker and my son. I'm not going to see what he's going to become and things like that. Those are the things that bother me more than me dying, if that makes sense.
Adam:
Yeah. Since you brought up Parker, I'd love to learn a little bit about him. What can you tell us about your son, Parker?
Robert:
So it's crazy. We can't have kids, we adopted him. We didn't even know we were going to be able to adopt. But we adopted him like we were there at the birth and then we took them home from there.
Marc:
Wow.
Robert:
And he's just amazing. I didn't think we were going to have a kid, so I was so super stoked that I got a chance to be a dad. And then months later, it's just taken away from me. I don't get to be with him as much as I like to. I don't have the energy. It sucks because sitting on the couch, watching him play with Debbie and all that, you're like, "Man, I can't even get down there and do that." But he's a smart kid. He potty trained himself really young, likes to read, loves anything outside, loves mud puddles, loves getting dirty and just the sweetest kid you'll ever meet in your life.
Marc:
What is his understanding of what is happening to you?
Robert:
Just that I'm sick. He doesn't understand that I'm not going to be here one day. It's going to happen probably before he's three, that he's just going to one day and not have me around. He's really too young to understand that and he's going to be way too young to remember a lot of me.
Marc:
Jesus, Robert, that's got to be so, I don't really have an adjective for it, difficult. Difficult doesn't do it justice, I'm sure. But that must be really difficult to deal with. Do you get tired of recounting the timeline?
Robert:
No. People tend to ask a lot of direct questions and I don't really tend to care. I'm a song writer, so I've always been a pretty open person. So there's usually not much that I don't care to talk about. I've accepted that I'm going to die. I'm not going to beat it. What's exhausting is when other people don't accept that. Like, "Oh, you'll be fine." I'm not going to be fine. I'm dying. That's probably the most exhausting thing.
Adam:
Well, it does certainly seem like you're an open book about this, the fact that you're posting in the dad groups on Facebook, the fact that you've recorded this album of material that you're promoting, you're accepting invitations to have conversations like this one. It tells me that you have something to say. I think that a lot of people revert inward when they're faced with stuff like the physical pain and discomfort that you're in and faced with death. Why are you accepting invitations like this?
Robert:
Well, I think it's important that people, A, first understand how precious life is, how great it is to be able to share it with your son or your daughter, and to not take it for granted. Most of the people I talk to, it just opens their eyes, kind of understanding what you have around you and how easily it can be taken away from you no matter how hard you worked for it.
Marc:
I feel like that's one of those things that sometimes people say one of those sentences kind of like the way Adam was describing how most people answer, "How are you doing?" It's this throw away. We don't give it thought. We don't take the time in the moment to give it real thought. And sometimes I think you hear people say, "Time is precious" and it's like a sentence that sometimes people say. And obviously it holds much more gravity coming from you. Can you tell us about some of the projects that you've done to preserve your legacy and to give him things to remember you by, even if he doesn't have long-term memories of specific interactions with you?
Robert:
Yeah. I wrote in my will, obviously, I left him a bunch of things and told him why they were close to me. I just finished the album with Parker and Debbie, and a bunch of Nashville recording artists helped put together. I wrote a birthday card for every year until he's 21, so that he'll have something to open up. I've read him a couple of letters as well. And I got a book that I need to continue on for sure. I got a book that asks a bunch of questions about who I was and all that, that I've been filling out slowly.
Marc:
Your album is called Legacy, and the songs that I've heard are beautifully written, beautifully recorded and so meaningful, of course.
Robert:
Thank you.
Marc:
Do you have a favorite song on that album?
Robert:
Probably Two Minutes. That was just one because everything with Parker is two minutes, like give me two minutes to do this. It's just such a part of his personality now. I just wrote a song around that.
Marc:
Was the process of writing those songs and recording it, was that a cathartic process for you?
Robert:
A little bit. It was a very emotional journey for me. Really made me think even more so about what I'm leaving behind.
Marc:
Yeah. The name of the album is Legacy. What does it mean to you to leave a legacy?
Robert:
I have a fear that when he gets older, he's going to be like "He wasn't my real dad. He didn't love me like a real dad did," because I'm not going to be there to combat those types of feelings. So a lot of it is making sure I can try to get him to understand that I love him to death. I don't want him ever questioning just because he didn't know me, like this was just some random guy that adopted me. He, sure as hell, is my son and that he's always going to be my son.
Marc:
You said recently, in another interview that I saw, you said this, "I've been a much happier person since I learned I was dying." I wonder, what do you mean by that?
Robert:
I don't let small things get to me anymore. I have bad days. I have bad weeks. I just don't let things get in the way or make me angry. I don't get angry anymore. I just try to take in everything that I have with what little time I have left. It's kind of weird, you just start focusing on living as opposed to just living.
Marc:
I think there's this bit of a myth out there that men, we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable. And part of the idea behind this show was to illustrate that men are capable of having and showing those emotions. And here you are Robert, in a situation that I can only imagine comes with some very intense emotions. And I guess the question is, how do you continue to, as you put it, live, as opposed to just live, but live and enjoy life for what it is without letting these emotions loom over you?
Robert:
The emotions are there, I think they just evolve. I've just kind of learned to brush it off my shoulder if I don't want to deal with it. And I'm pretty angry that I'm dying, very angry. But I don't want to be some angry guy that my wife remembers, or my son remembers. I've learned to open up a lot more. I've learned to tell my friends I love them and let them know how much I appreciate them. And I've opened up emotionally. When you sit back and think about how do you want to be remembered, I think you end up starting to change how you behave.
Adam:
Being conscious of time, Robert, we wanted to give you the opportunity to share anything, either for the listeners or for Parker when he discovers this down the road. Is there anything that you'd like to say that maybe you haven't said elsewhere or to reinforce something that you have said or written?
Robert:
A, I would say that time is precious and it can be taken away very quickly. Feel like I'm kind of lucky that I get to know when I'm going to die so I can at least plan some things out because I was working like a dog. Like Debbie said, I became a much better father once I learned I was dying. I appreciate a lot more. And then, obviously, if you see any blood in your urine or leakage or anything, go to a doctor and don't take the first diagnosis you get if you don't necessarily agree with it.
Adam:
Thank you for that advice. I think that that is something that everybody should be thinking about and aware of in terms of paying attention to their health and seeing a professional when you know that something is not right with you.
Robert:
Especially us men. Right?
Adam:
Well, Robert, we want to wish you and your family happiness and peace, and we'll be thinking of you. And we hope that you're able to stay as comfortable and as positive as possible, and as you want to be.
Robert:
Thank you so much. You guys have a great week.
Adam:
So we will be keeping Robert Bailey in our thoughts. And I know that he did, since we chatted with him, Marc, have to go in for an emergency surgery. So I hope that he's back home and taking it easy and feeling okay. I did promise that we were going to keep things lighthearted. So I have a, that's a thing now, to share with you.
Marc:
Lay it on me. Begin the sharing please.
Adam:
It's a good one. It's a fresh one. It's a freshie.
Marc:
It's a fresh thing, Uh oh.
Adam:
It just happened this evening at the dinner table. And just like that, it's a thing.
Marc:
Are you looking forward to this being a thing or are you dreading this becoming a thing?
Adam:
There's two sides. I have two competing emotions and you'll understand at the end of my story.
Marc:
Okay. All right. Hit me.
Adam:
So we're at the dinner table and my four-year-old daughter has been just procrastinating eating her food. She wants to snack all day. She'd eat Goldfish all day, but when it comes to a meal, she won't touch it. And she procrastinates, tries to run down the clock so that she doesn't have to eat anything and then it gets to bedtime. We had prepared grilled cheese, chicken soup, and a bunch of grapes that were all still connected.
Marc:
It's a good meal.
Adam:
Sitting on a stool, she had moved her chair out, brought in a stool, she's totally naked, which normally we wouldn't allow at the dinner table.
Marc:
Normally you're the only one naked.
Adam:
Yes. I'm the one that is allowed to be naked.
Marc:
Right.
Adam:
She's picking the grapes off the stems and dropping them into the soup, whatever, as long as she'll eat it, she can do whatever she wants. And I'm getting towards the end of my rope because we have to just keep reminding her to eat her food. And I think she can tell that I'm kind of pissed. And then it happened. She looks at me and goes, "Daddy." She extends her hand out and goes, "Smell my finger." I'm like, "Oh…… really?"
Marc:
Okay.
Adam:
Like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But I have to know. I have to know where she's going with this. So I say, "Absolutely not. But what does it smell like?" And she gets a big smile on her face and she goes, "Butt."
Marc:
Okay.
Adam:
Sarah and I look at each other, trying not to laugh. We sent her to the bathroom to go wash her hands. And she comes back and whatever, dinner continues on and we continue feeling frustrated that she's procrastinating. But, butt.
Marc:
Butt.
Adam:
But here I am now, my daughter dug her finger into her butt and then wanted to punk me into smelling it.
Marc:
Classic. Smell my finger is kind of classic comedy.
Adam:
It is.
Marc:
Yeah.
Adam:
Yeah. Disgusting? Absolutely disgusting. Is a little part of me proud at the prank attempt? Because smell my finger is actually a really funny prank. And so if that's a thing now in our house, I think I'm kind of okay with it.
Marc:
Yeah. You might want to warn guests.
Adam:
Yeah. I wouldn't allow her to be naked at the table with guests. I can't get behind butt picking, but smell my finger is really funny.
Marc:
It's funny. So that's a thing. That's a potential thing now in the Flaherty household, smell my finger.
Adam:
Butt.
Marc:
Well, friends, this finds us at the end of yet another episode of Modern Dadhood, the podcast. So go out there on the internet, find us, ModernDadhood.com, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, Overcast, and more.
Adam:
Say “from Charms!”
Marc:
What?
Adam:
Remember the end of the Blow Pop commercial, "That's a Blow Pop!" Forget it.
Marc:
Anyway. Subscribe. Word of mouth is very, very helpful to us.
Adam:
You can follow us on Facebook and Instagram. It's @ModernDadhood and there's still time to order a fine Modern Dadhood T-shirt or Modern Dadhoodie.
Marc:
Oh, you want one. You want one, you need one, you need one.
Adam:
For someone you love for the holidays, you do.
Marc:
You need it.
Adam:
As always, we want to thank Caspar Babypants and Spencer Albee for our theme music, to Pete Morse at Red Vault Audio, that's redvaultaudio.com, for his wisdom, for his talent and his good sense when it comes to all things audio, to Robert Bailey for sharing his story. And also, why don't you say this? You always say this part.
Marc:
I'd like to say thank you to you for listening.