Parenthood is a challenging adventure. And in a blended family, step parenting comes with its own set of unique obstacles. From custody arrangements to personal conflicts to social stigma, step-fatherhood, in particular, has developed a curious reputation over the decades. Rafael Torres, a father to two young daughters, (one biological and one step), shares perspective and advice that all dads could benefit from hearing—and why he prefers the term “Bonus Dad" to step dad all day long. Stick around to the end for the special subsegment of "So That’s A Thing Now:" So Those Are Things Now.
Parenthood is a challenging adventure. And in a blended family, step parenting comes with its own set of unique obstacles. From custody arrangements to personal conflicts to social stigma, step-fatherhood, in particular, has developed a curious reputation over the decades. Rafael Torres, a father to two young daughters, (one biological and one step), shares perspective and advice that all dads could benefit from hearing—and why he prefers the term “Bonus Dad" to step dad all day long. Stick around to the end for the special subsegment of "So That’s A Thing Now:" So Those Are Things Now.
Modern Dadhood Episode 39 opens with a quick catch-up between hosts Marc and Adam in which Marc shares about his twin boys’ recent third birthday celebration. They briefly discuss Adam’s uncharacteristic (and moderately unbecoming) mustache, and a miraculous and unlikely victory by Modern Dadhood on TheOnlyPodcastAwardThatActuallyMatters.com... before transitioning to the episode’s ACTUAL topic: step parenting.
Neither Adam nor Marc have step parents or step children, so the perspective discussed prior to guest Rafael Torres joining, are solely based on observations of their friends, and cultural interpretations and stigmas. They quickly welcome Rafael, a father to one biological daughter and stepdad a second daughter, into the conversation. Rafael is a structural steel designer and drafter, as well as the moderator of the Bonus Parents Facebook group. Through a candid discussion about Rafael’s own experience as a stepfather (which he proudly refers to as a “Bonus Dad,”) as well as his observations from moderating a group of fellow bonus parents, Rafael sheds light on the best parts, and the most challenging parts, of a blended family. Topics include:
• Witnessing your partner as a parent from the beginning of your relationship
• ALL the parenting acronyms!
• References and support for step parents
• Custody and other common blended family issues
• Navigating relationships with biological parents
• Overcoming misconceptions and stigmas around step parenting
• Learning to decode your stepchild’s language
Marc shares a So That’s A Thing Now involving one of his three-year-olds and a new recurring question before closing out the episode.
Links:
Bonus Parents (Facebook)
Co-Parenting SubReddit
Blended Family Frappe
National Stepfamily Resource Center
The Stepfather
The Only Podcast Award That Actually Matters
Red Vault Audio
Caspar Babypants
Spencer Albee
Adam: This is the Modern Dadhood Podcast.
Marc: *burp*
Adam: Really? That's you're going to start it off?
Marc: No, I'll retract that statement. Strike it. Strike that from the record.
Adam: This is the Modern Dadhood podcast.
Marc: The Modern Dadhood Podcast?
Adam: Yeah, I'm changing it.
Marc: Shit. Everybody send your hoodies back.
Adam: Modern Dadhood is an ongoing conversation about the joys, challenges and general insanity of being a dad in this moment, and my name is Adam Flaherty. I'm a dad to two girls who are seven and four.
Marc: And you know what I just realized? Well, not this part. I knew that I am Marc Checket I knew that part. Here's what I just realized. We haven't recorded since my twin boy toddlers turned three.
Adam: Is three still toddler?
Marc: I don't know. Is it?
Adam: Probably.
Marc: Oh no.
Adam: I mean, they do toddle around.
Marc: They do kind of toddle. Yeah. I don't know.
Adam: How did the birthdays go? The joint birthday.
Marc: The joint birthday went really well. They they were excited. Last year when they were turning two, didn't quite get what it was all about. They knew they got a cupcake. That was it. They were excited about a cupcake. And then for the rest of the night, both of them threw up everywhere all the time. It was terrible. They ruined a settee.
Adam: What's a settee?
Marc: It's just settee, you know, a small...
Adam: I don't know! What the hell is a settee!?
Marc: I'll set you straight. It's a little bit similar to a dive-in or a dive-an. Does that help?
Adam: You're speaking a foreign language to me. And I think it might be a French but I'm not sure.
Marc: It's a small couch, its a small couch. They ruined a small couch. Anyway, so this birthday, they were like, looking forward to it. They were like, we're going to turn three, you know, for a couple weeks leading up to the birthday. So they were pretty stoked about it. They got some nice little gifts, some more cake. No throwing up this time.
Adam: Well, I'm glad they had a fun birthday.
Marc: Me too. Would have been nice to see some family in person, but there's always next year.
Adam: Four is going to be a big one.
Marc: It's going to be huge.
Adam: So our guest for today's episode is a young man named Rafael Torres, who is a father of two daughters just like me. One is his biological kid and the other is his "bonus kid," as he likes to say.
Marc: Love it.
Adam: So we'll be chatting with Rafael about his beautiful blended family shortly.
Marc: Nobody can see this, but Adam's got a moustache, and I don't know what to make of it.
Adam: My wife doesn't either. She is not a fan.
Marc: I mean, do you know what your kids say about it?
Adam: They tell me that they like it, but when Sarah says she doesn't like it, they agree with her. So they just pander to whoever they're talking to.
Marc: That's a typical kid move, just pandering. Adam, I see a bullet here called "award recognition," and I don't know what that means.
Adam: I am very excited to tell you about this because I've been wanting to tell you ever since I learned earlier today... That Modern Dadhood has won an award! And I didn't know a whole lot about it. I still don't, seems like a very kind of prestigious award in the podcast world. And it's called The Only Podcast Award That Actually Matters..
Marc: This all real?
Adam: I mean, it's as real as theonlypodcastawardthatactuallymatters.com...
Marc: Can you hear me typing? What? What is this?
Adam: I don't know, man, but it's an award and we've won it. Look, it seems like it's the only one that actually matters and I have to believe that I see it on the internet. It's real.
Marc: I um, yeah, okay.
Adam: I mean, there's runners up. There's 2020 runners up.
Marc: Yeah. Theonlypodcastawardthatactuallymattersdot.com. It's says "#1 Podcast 2020", Modern Dadhood, Number One.
Adam: It's pretty remarkable.
Marc: That's huge.
Adam: I feel proud.
Marc: Well that's big news for the podcast. What's next. Golden Globes?
Adam: You win an award like that and things just start happening.
Marc: Further up is where it takes us.
Adam: Growing up, did you have friends whose parents were divorced and had remarried, so your friends had a step mom or step dad?
Marc: I've been thinking about this a bunch and I don't know if this is rare or not, but I can't think of anybody save one person, which is my wife. My wife Jamie has a stepmom since she was four years old.
Adam: Wow. So she was four years old when her father remarried?
Marc: That's correct.
Adam: And how is her relationship with her stepmother? I mean, the stepmother has been in her family and in her life for almost the whole thing.
Marc: A very long time.
Adam: As far back as her memory goes, right?
Marc: Yeah, yeah. I mean, she has some memories of that time because there was lots of big things that were happening in her life. But for all intents and purposes, Betty has been in Jamie's life almost her whole life. Yeah, I have nothing to relate it to. And I think there was some, like, difficult times maybe. But I think who wouldn't have difficult times, you know, having gone through a divorce, you're seeing your parents get divorced and having a new person come into your life who's going to sort of act as this new other parent.
Adam: And that's super interesting. And things can certainly become complicated.
Marc: Yeah, but what about you? I feel like thinking back throughout my childhood and all the friends I had, not being able to actually pick anybody out that had a stepfather or a stepmother in the picture, I kind of felt like that was maybe odd, but I don't know. What about your situation?
Adam: I mean, I had a few friends who had stepparents and we would spend time at their house and, you know, it didn't feel abnormal in any way. You know, sometimes my friend would refer to that stepparent by their first name. But I have three older siblings. My parents have been married since the early 60s. And so when I came along in the early 80s growing up, it never crossed my mind that my parents could or would ever divorce. And they're still married. But I do have this sort of distinct memory from when I was a kid. And I don't have any idea what would have inspired this thought in me as a kid. I remember thinking to myself that if my parents ever divorced and got married to other people, that I would consciously choose to dislike that person and, like, go out of my way to let them know it. Isn't that an odd thing? Like with no reason to ever be concerned about my family breaking apart in that way? I had this feeling of if my mom ever married somebody else or my dad ever married somebody else, like I wouldn't like them. I would go out of my way to make things hard for them... Like it's their fault or something.
Marc: Well, I definitely think there's a little bit of a, or maybe a lot, and I just I'm not in that world, so I don't really know. But there's a stigma around around it. There's a precursor to it, to a new person coming into a young child's life, which is divorce, a shattering moment. And so it's like inextricably tied to that, especially for a young child. Like, how old were you when you thought that?
Adam: I don't actually remember. I mean, probably six, seven, eight, something like that.
Marc: There's no way as a six, seven or eight year old, you can even come close to putting yourself in the shoes of your parent who might be going through a divorce, which might be a very good thing.
Adam: It might be a good thing for their relationship and for their own personal happiness. But, you know, divorce is hard on everybody involved no matter what. But it's interesting that you would without any sort of perspective or context or understanding of it, to sort of project this feeling of anger on somebody who is coming in after all of that hypothetical, you know, pain and potentially making the situation a whole lot better and bringing a lot of joy and love into your life.
Marc: Yeah, I mean, if that new person, for example, has say nothing to do with a divorce, right? Then that person is just walking into a situation with whatever intentions they have. And I think that stigma that's there, it's an unfair thing.
Adam: It is because I feel like in a lot of ways, like entering a relationship with somebody who you care about and have grown to love, who has kids, is in some ways like an incredibly selfless thing, you know, because you are choosing to put yourself in a position that could be very challenging. I mean, hopefully it's it's really rewarding, too. But like, there will be hard things that you have to deal with by putting yourself in this situation, but you're doing it for the love of your partner. But I'll be curious to hear from our guest Rafael in a few minutes, who has these two young daughters, one biological and one stepchild. You know, the experience of growing this paternal love and bond with someone who came into your family as opposed to being born into your family.
Marc: Rafael Torres is a structural steel designer and drafter for a modular construction company. He lives in PA. with his two year old daughter, his girlfriend and her four year old daughter.
Adam: He's also the moderator of a popular Facebook group for stepparents called "Bonus Parents." And I'm really excited to have him on the show. Rafael, thank you so much for joining us, man. Tell us a bit about yourself and your family.
Rafael: Thank you. Thanks for inviting me along. I am a structural steel designer, first modular construction company. So I'm a desk nerd. My partner, Kasie, she's an account developer. She's killing it. I'm so proud of her. She is the biological mother to our four year old Maya, who is the most affectionate and loving child that I've ever met in my life. And I am the biological father to our two year old June, who is a brute. She is a human wrecking ball. And we blended that family together.
Adam: How do the girls get along? Are they best friends?
Rafael: Oh my gosh. That they love each other. They fight like sisters. And for the most part, you know, when we're out and about, people just assume they're sisters. So we just like, you know, take that and we love it.
Adam: So when you and Kacie were first getting together, did you have any expectations going into the relationship about how it would work with both of you being parents to both kids?
Rafael: Well, we always talked about this case, and I would like to have another child. Both of us have always wanted two, but we already have two. But we want another one. And with that, you know, I always tell her, like from watching her parent, both her daughter and my daughter, like, I'm on board with the way you parent. So I trust her completely. And I saw that in the early stages of our relationship with my you know, I saw her the way she parented, the way she resolves conflicts and things like that. And in my mind, I'm just like a brute force dad, right? I'm just like, "how do you not understand this?" And she's like, "you gotta explain it to her," and all this stuff. So the expectations were met, exceedingly met. And I, I was like, yeah, I would I want to have another child. And so yeah, in the beginning, you know, I saw I saw that.
Marc: Yeah, it's funny, I'm just sitting here thinking, like when you first met Kacie and she already has a daughter, it just never dawned on me. It's kind of just hitting me now, like, duh, you had this opportunity to see her in action as a mom before you guys get into it or as you're getting into a relationship. I imagine that's interesting.
Rafael: Yeah. Yeah, that was that was actually a beautiful thing to witness was how she was a parent, because from day one, she was just a beautiful mother. And so I already knew what I was getting into.
Marc: That's wonderful. Let's talk a little bit about the social media group.
Rafael: I joined the group a while ago. Kacie, my partner, you know, brought up one day. Hey, why don't you look into like a step parent group or bonus parent group? And I was like, what's a "bonus parent?" And then when I really thought about it and she explained it to me, you know, it's another parent, another person in their corner. I'm kind of spearheading that group now because I just I kind of resolve issues or like most everybody messages me directly in like she said this and I'm OK. Who said what? Like, why. Says let's not say that.
Adam: Be nice!
Marc: Like, you're also you know, you're also the dad!
Rafael: Yeah, yeah I'm also the dad of the Bonus Parents group.
Marc: So I'm a dad to twins. And my when we were pregnant, my wife joined a bunch of Facebook groups like, oh my God, I'm going to need twin help. And it was the same thing. She kept coming to me. She's like, "look at these acronyms! I don't understand any of these acronyms. Like, I have to learn this whole new language now, I don't know what any of this means!" She kept freaking out, trying to try to keep up with all the acronyms.
Rafael: There's so many acronyms being thrown around in that group. I mean, most people just will still say step-parent or whatever, and that's fine. But I like to say I'm a bonus parent.
Marc: What are some common topics that come up in the group or areas where maybe it's that parents might be seeking advice from other step parents?
Rafael: Well, the one thing that I do find kind of beautiful in it is people that have issues with custody. A lot of them will post their issue or what's going on and then list their state. And it's more often than not, you'll see at least 20, 30 comments from people in the state, in those states, you know, giving their advice or what they went through or if they went through that issue or what to do next. And I think that that's like what the whole group is about. You know, to me at least, those are the most common issues, though, like custody and biological mother or father saying something on the other side when the kid's not there, they're just really stressed out. And it's tough, you know. So, yeah. And they're just looking for advice or somebody to seek solace with.
Adam: I would imagine that, even in the sort of cleanest cut situations where all of the parties are civil and want the best for the kid and, you know, the best for their former spouse and their new arrangement, there still must be a factor of emotional stress that comes into it from time to time. Have you dealt with some of that in your family?
Rafael: Oh, yeah. Even in a 50/50 custody agreement, and even when both parents are completely on board with everything, they're still going to be issues. I mean, there's issues every day in parenting. Regardless, my father didn't want me bathing Maya and I completely 100% understand where he's coming from. At the time Kacie was working... It was hell, but it was a it was a third shift job. She'd go to work and I'd be there with Maya alone and as a father as well. I mean, if you think about it and, you know, your child's with a foreign man that you have no idea. It's not it's not like I started dating Kacie and got to know him, you know?
Marc: Right. That's got to be such a fine line. You must walk sometimes between trying to be respectful of the other parents in the picture while at the same time probably being getting frustrated, getting sad about it and not wanting to say anything to the child. That's going to paint her dad, her biological dad, in a negative light. Yes, because you probably that's only going to add to the complexity of the situation.
Rafael: Yeah, yeah. And in our house, we use code names, so...
Marc: Oh, man, "The eagle is refusing to land!"
Rafael: We do. We tiptoe around what we say and it slips sometimes. But yeah, we try to to make sure that we don't paint a bad picture of any other parent. You know, I grew up with a stepdad and he's been in my life. I don't know how long now they're 30 something or 20 some 25 years now or something. And he's dad now. And it was because of his example, you know, growing up, not saying anything about my dad, my biological father, you know, he never said anything. You never trash talk to me. He never said anything. Never brought him up once. And I think about it, it wasn't his job. His job was to be my dad. And ultimately, that's what he did and achieved. And now I call him Dad, you know?
Marc: So what would you say are some of the most common misconceptions about step parenting?
Rafael: Well, you know, being a step dad and I grew up with a stepdad as well, like I there is kind of a stigma to it. Even Kacie's father was like, "you know, he's not her father. So, like, be careful, you know," things like that. A stigma to being a step dad in in particular is, you know, especially with a daughter in the house is if we going to hurt them or abuse them. And recently we found out that some friends of ours who has a 12 year old daughter and two other children, he is a stepdad to the 12 year old and has been in her life since she was one years old. So the past 11 years and it recently came to light that he had been sexually abusing her. That is awful for for them in that family and the healing that they need to go through. But it also impacted us because it hit so close to home. And we know these people personally and they've been at birthday parties and we've been in the same room. And, you know, no matter how much Kacie loves me and no matter how much I will never hurt Maya, it's still like, hey, you're a stepdad and we need to talk about this because she needed reassurance. I needed to reassure her. And it's all part of that. That's that stigma I was just talking about earlier. Like, it just paints a bad picture. It doesn't make us look good. You know, it hurts. It hurts.
Marc: It's that's why it's so important to... it's about the person. It's about the people involved, not the labels, you know. And that's what's this person that you knew who turns out he was a really awful person. And it says that he's an awful person. It doesn't say that stepparents are all can be awful people, just means that he's an awful person and that people in general are capable of being terrible.
Adam: So in this situation that happened, you and Kacie had to sit down and have a real conversation about your relationship and your intentions and the reason that you want to be together and your desire to, you know, create and grow this family. But like, why as an individual entering a relationship with somebody else who already has a kid. And in the in the case of you and Kacie, both of you already had a child of your own. You're essentially saying, "I care about you, I love you so much that I'm I want to bring your child into my family," you know, and to think that that sort of selflessness is offset by a weird stigma, you know, to have to justify your intentions just seems so weird and off balance.
Rafael: Yeah. I mean, like, it's weird and off balance because I didn't do anything wrong. Somebody else did something wrong. And now I've got to reassure my partner, take children out of the equation. Let's say there's just a married couple and Susan down the block found out that her husband was cheating on her for twenty years or whatever. And so now, you know, you know, honey, I'm not going to do that. You know, I didn't do anything wrong. But you still have to reassure your partner. It's weird. It is weird. But on top of that, the factor was we knew then.
Marc: Can you talk a little bit about your family dynamic with both June's mom and Maya's dad? I guess the way you guys parent and the way that the parent is. Is there a dynamic there?
Rafael: We fear all the time like we don't want to be like the family, like the parents house, that's like boring or whatever, because we we're a lot more structured. We think about things a lot more thoroughly than the other parent might. So whereas as Maya might be at her father's house eating candy at 8:30 at night, that's not happening. You know, that's that's like the the "push pull" thing. You just, you're not there all the time. That's the problem is you're not there all the time.
Adam: So I mean, I've got two daughters as well who are seven and four, and it's like so hard to even get them into good habits. And so getting them to commit to two habits or routines and it must be so challenging to like have to like, undo all that, it seems like. Rafael, what what words of advice can you give someone listening who might be just getting into a relationship where they're about to become a bonus parent just from based on your experience and everything that you've seen from moderating the bonus parents group?
Rafael: My advice would be, really learn how that child talks, how that child expresses herself, you know, she says things like and sometimes it hurts our feelings. she'll say things like, I miss my daddy. When am I going to go see my daddy? And, you know, Kacie like, you know, brought up the other day, that's just her wishing she wasn't in the situation. Like, you know, like everything they say there's another meaning behind and you just figure it out and it's like baby talk. Like you hear just a bunch of "googoo gagas", but every parent's like, no-- he's hungry, you know?
Adam: Right. Right.
Rafael: It's stuff like that. So, like, my advice would be really take the time to learn this child's language, this child's expressions, what what makes them happy, why it makes them happy and how they want to be loved.
Marc: And that's great advice for everybody.
Rafael: And, you know, trusting your partner will make the right decision to I like completely 100%trust Kacie with my daughter. And it only makes me a better parent because I'm learning so much from her as well.
Marc: Rafael, where would you say other, you know, bonus moms and dads that might be listening can go for support or for advice or to be feeling like they're a part of a community?
Rafael: Well, yeah, of course, the Facebook group, you can post something at any time of the day and some somebody is going to respond. Kacie's go to for parenting is on Reddit. Allow there's a Reddit co-parenting separated. And again, like the root word there for "bonus parent" is "parent." So and the other parent, you know, if you have an issue, you need advice, like ask a parent.
Adam: Dads, you can find links to the Bonus Parents Facebook group and the co-parenting SubReddit in our show notes. Rafael, thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us today and for sharing your story about bonus parenting.
Rafael: Thank you guys so much for having me. This is awesome.
Adam: That's a good dude.
Marc: Oh, man, I can't believe he's from Redding, Pennsylvania. So close to where I grew up.
Adam: And I got to say, I was pretty delighted by your subtle allusion to one of our early guests, Terry O'Quinn, when you mentioned "The Stepfather."
Marc: T.O.Q. Terry O'Quinn Right, exactly. He starred in a film called The Stepfather. There was a second one too and he was an absolute...
Adam: A real monster.
Marc: ...terrible person in that movie.
Adam: Just ruthless, which doesn't help that stigma at all. But I think what obviously does help is dads out there like Rafael who really, truly care and have a lot of love to give.
Marc: A good guy.
Adam: Do you have a "thing?" I don't have any, I don't know that I have a thing to share.
Marc: I do have a "So That’s a Thing Now" in the category of cute, not cringy. My kids are getting more and more talkative every day, like their vocabulary is exploding all over the place and they just never shut up. Actually, that's a little bit like how it feels.
Adam: I know that feeling.
Marc: Is that very familiar? So one of my sons recently started adding a little quick little phrase at the end of a lot of his sentences, which is, he says, "yes or no?" So he'll ask a question, you know, like, "Can we have pancakes for breakfast? Yes or no?"
Adam: It's like when you used to write a note in elementary school... Do you like me? Y/N?
Marc: And it's cute in his voice is absolutely adorable. It's he, I mean, he just has one of the cutest speaking voices in the whole world. But he talks a lot and he asks a lot of questions. And after a while it starts to sound a little dick-ish. You know, like I'd start like, like he'll say, like, "Can I have pancakes, YES OR NO?"
Adam: Like, give me an answer! You owe me that much.
Marc: "ARE WE GOING TO SCHOOL TODAY YES OR NO?"
Adam: And he's going to judge you if you answer the wrong way.
Marc: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And I start to just feel I don't know, it just it starts to just like, you know, I start to tweak out a little bit after hearing it enough, you know, "are we going to go to school today, yes or no?" "Yes. Yes. You're going to go to school today." And then I explode at him. And he was like, "Okay well, I was just asking a question, Dad."
Adam: So it's just the "yes or no" thing that's repetitive. It's not the actual question itself that gets repeated over and over?
Marc: Yes or no thing. And I and I'm sure that the inflection doesn't change throughout the day. I'm sure it's just as sweet and cute as it is first thing in the morning. But I'm telling you, the way that I hear it, as the day goes on, you know.
Adam: Starts to grate on your soul a little bit.
Marc: But I don't want him to stop. It's just too damn cute.
Adam: I hear you. Our four-year-old is doing something similar. But rather than a little flourish on the end of a question, it's the same question over and over and over. She comes into our room in the morning, wakes up early. I'm the one that goes downstairs with her. But it's like she wakes up and she wants to go downstairs and put on a show and like that's what we do in the morning. When she wakes up early, we put on like a cartoon or something. So it's, "can we go downstairs and watch a show?" And I'm like, "yeah, yeah, just a minute. Like let me wake up a little bit," "can we go downstairs and watch a show now?" And then she'll hop up in the bed and she... but she's not doing it to be obnoxious. And even when I tell her, like, "I'll take you down, I just want to brush my teeth first," I'll go into the bathroom and brush my teeth, I'll be brushing and she'll ask again. It's like "I told you what I have to do first, and now you're interrupting what I'm doing to ask again, like, just hold your horses!"
Marc: You're describing exactly my other son, okay? That's exactly how my other son is, like the one that just says the "yes or no thing," like he just happens to add that to the end of every question he asks. But my other son is exactly like that. And it is so like you really quickly go from, like, you know, answering a question like, "yeah, sure, of course! Yeah, sure buddy, let's do that!" To like two minutes later being like, "DUDE. I just fucking answered you," you know, and it's like I know he doesn't, and I'm sure your daughter also doesn't at all mean it, you know, like mean to take it there. It's just like that that like very natural and like inquisitive nature. And also their brains are just you know, are actually our kids aren't too far off in age. She just she just turned four, right?
Adam: Yeah, so they're a year apart.
Marc: So, yeah. I mean, their brains are like their brains are moving, man, they're moving. And it's like you're talking about first thing in the morning, you know.
Adam: And that's the one thing that she wants to do and that's the only thing that's on her mind. But still... I literally just told you the two things that I need to do before we go downstairs, you know? We're in the process of getting there.Don't ask again.
Marc: I overheard Jamie the other day say something to the effect of like, "do you see me? I only have two arms. I'm not a spider!" Because she's like, my son is just asking her the same thing over and over. And she's like, "I'm trying to get to it. And I will. But I got to do these other things." But she's, "do you see me? I only have two arms. I'm not a spider!" Which is like...
Adam: That's clever. Well, there we go. Apparently, that's a thing in both of our houses.
Marc: Who knew?
Adam: Repetition.
Marc: Who knew that that would be a thing in both of our houses?
Adam: Repetition, repetition, repetition.
Marc: "So Those Are Things Now" is what that segment should be called.
Adam: "So Those Are Things Now." Yeah!
Marc: I believe we found ourselves once again at the end.
Adam: Dads, you can find Modern Dadhood on our website, ModernDadhood.com, anywhere you listen to podcasts, including Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, Amazon Pocket Casts and many more, please do us a favor and subscribe. And also, if you take a minute to write a quick one line review of the show and give us a rating, it would really mean a lot to us.
Marc: And if you're not sold yet on how great of a show this is, I encourage you to go to TheOnlyPodcastAwardThatActuallyMatters.com. The award speaks for itself.
Feel free to share that with a friend or just tell a friend about Modern Dadhood word of mouth goes a lot farther than you think it does.
Quick interjections, t-shirts and Dadhoodies are for sale on our website.
Adam: Are they on sale?
Marc: We don't put them on sale, okay? They are the price. Oh, you can also drop us a line at hey@moderndadhood.com. Just say hello, tell us what you like about the show. Here's a challenge for you. Give us a topic that we have yet to cover and tell us why we should cover it, because Adam and I both know that there are topics out there that we have not gotten to yet.
Adam: We want to say thanks to Caspar Babypants and to Spencer Albee for the music on Modern Dadhood, to Mr. Pete Morse at Red Vault Audio. That's RedVaultAudio.com for mixing the show for us and to Rafael Torres and the Bonus Parents Facebook group for being a great source of information for today's episode.
Marc: Also, thank you for listening.